Growing Up
by TheMisfitToy
Summary: A three-shot that follows Kili and Fili before they went off to help Thorin reclaim Erebor
1. Chapter 1

I don't own the Hobbit

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Fili was _never_ letting his brother talk him into playing in the rain, _ever again. _

His head ached, he was hot and cold at the same time and his nose was stuffy and every time he sneezed it felt like someone was stabbing his throat with a pointy stick. And every time he ate, his tummy chucked it back up.

His mummy said he had a fever, and he was forced to drink really nasty tasting medicine that made him gag. The worst thing though, was not being allowed to get out of bed unless he needs to use the bathroom.

It was after Fili's midday medicine that a very distressed Kili crept into their shared room, and clambered up onto his brothers' bed, snuggling under the covers with him. Mummy and Uncle Thorin said he wasn't allowed to go see Fili, but that wasn't fair, 'cause Fili was sick and sick dwarves need cuddles and he told his mother and uncle as much several times.

"Fili, you 'wake?" The toddler asked, nuzzling his head into the crook of Fili's neck.

"Whaddya want Kili?" came the very muffled reply and Kili pouted, he didn't like Fili being poorly, and he was going to make Fili better, even if it meant he had to get sick too.

'Cause if there was more poorly in him, there'd be less in Fili and then Fili would be better and if the gobbin's came for him, he'd be strong enough to fight them off, but until he was better, Kili would have to fight them off, and take away the poorly too.

"I was scared, didn't want the gobbins and the wags to get you. So Imma protect you from thems!" The bright grin which accompanied the statement made Fili smile, even though he felt like Mahal had been hammering his head repeatedly.

"S'kay, won't let the goblins get you Kili. Not ever." The golden hair dwarf muttered into his siblings' hair.

"I won't let them takes you either, you is Kili's." The child muttered sleepily.

When their mother came to check on Fili later in the day, her heart was warmed by the sight of her two sons, wrapped in eachother's arms snoring happily.

Her joy was destroyed when not two seconds after she walked in, Kili started sneezing.

It was going to be a long week.


	2. Chapter 2

When Fili comes home from an 'outing' with May, the inn keepers daughter and hears Kili upstairs shouting, the golden haired dwarf is instantly on high alert and he draws the two short swords he got for his five and ten name-day the previous month.

He approaches the stairs warily, eyes flickering to check for hidden assailants, but when Fili hears a crash and some rather creative Khuzdul caution is thrown to the wind and he near flies up the stairs, barrelling into the door of their shared room, fully prepared for battle.

However, what he finds has him laughing in amused relief his little brother has apparently thrown his fine bone tooth comb against the wall and is sat in the middle of the floor, pouting like a tiny dwarfling and his hair in a state of disarray.

"Not funny. Won't go right" Kili scowls at his brother, tugging a lock of raven hair roughly, and Fili understands, his brother is trying to braid his hair.

"It's okay Kili it took me ages to learn how to do it" Fili reassures, picking up the comb as he walks towards the grumpy dwarf.

"It looks so easy when mother does it, but it gets all tangled and looks funny when I try" Kili whines as his brother kneels in front of him, comb and a clasp in hand.

Fili just nods in understanding before running the fine comb through a small section of hair in his brother's line of vision before separating the section into three and with meticulous motions, goes about showing Kili how to move each strand so they're tightly woven in intricate patterns before wrapping the little silver clasp around the end, securing the hair into place.

"Now, you try it." Fili orders, undoing one of his own braids, because it's always easier to braid someone else's hair than it is your own.

It takes several attempts, and lots of explaining for Fili before Kili finally gets it, and once he does, the dwarf spends what feels like hours braiding almost every available strand of golden hair until Fili is certain that he looks more like a maiden than anything else.

Once Kili's urge to braid every bit of hair on his brother's head, the two settle on their respective beds, and the younger dwarf's grin is positively evil.

"So, how was your outing to the, ahem training fields, brother dear?" The knowing glint in his little brother's eyes causes Fili to shift uncomfortably.

"I don't know what you mean, it was the same as it always is" he replies, hoping that his brother is just fishing, the smirk he gets in response dashes those hopes.

"Oh really? Because I heard from a very pretty flower that you and May have been frequenting the barn behind the inn. Checking out the alcoves are we?" Kili knows he's got his brother when said siblings cheeks flame scarlet and he shifts uncomfortably.

"I, do not kiss and tell Kili" Fili replies, trying to maintain his dignity

"Well, from what I heard, wasn't much kissing going on, oh great 'golden stallion'" Kili's grin is wiped from his face when Fili launches himself at his younger brother and drags him onto the floor where he attacks Kili's ribs and neck –knowing his brother is particularly ticklish there- and laughing evilly when Kili screams with laughter and tries to wriggle out from underneath him.

When Dís comes home to an incredibly quiet house, she's somewhat concerned and goes upstairs to check her on her generally noisy children, and smiles when she finds them on the floor of their bedroom, dead asleep with Kili's head resting on Fili's chest.


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own the hobbit. This is set just before the company leave Erid Luin, actually focus's more on Dís..

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When Thorin comes home looking more alive than he has in years, Dís can't help by smile, that is, until her brother starts mentioning swallows flying towards the mountain, and the signs. Then, her heart drops and she feels like someone has sucked out her insides.

Dís loves her brother, more than anything bar her sons, and she'd do almost anything to make him happy. But she knows deep in her heart that if her sons join her brother and go on the quest to reclaim a home that neither of the older Durin's folk can truly remember their farewells will be the last time she looks upon them in life.

The boys are beyond excited when Thorin mentions it, they're young and naïve to the true horrors of war, and the glory of their quest illusions them to the hardships and the very possible reality that one or all of them may not make it there alive. Their desire to make Thorin, the only father figure they've ever really had, happy overrides all her pleas for them to reconsider, or for Thorin to hold off the quest until her boys are older, until she's had a few more years with them, but his mind is set.

The following days are a whirlwind of colour and sound and packing and amidst it all, Dís, daughter of Thráín feels like she's watching it all through a smoke screen, the boys sharpening weapons and packing provisions aren't her son, the man who spends hours upon hours Mahal knows where, that's not her brother.

She can't let herself think of them as hers, because if she does, she'll cling to them and never let go. Her mother, father, grandfather, brother and husband, all gone, and now, she's going to lose her boys and her remaining brother, this isn't fair. But she is a princess of Erebor, and the lessons on decorum and control drummed into her head as a dwarfling serve her well.

The day before they're due to leave, Balin, pulls her to one side and embraces her with all the love and compassion her father never held and in that moment, she is not a princess, she is a woman, a mother and a sister, her tears come thick and fast, breath coming in short ragged pants as she sobs into the chest of the person who taught her how to swing a sword when her brothers deemed it too dangerous, cries for a lost childhood, for kin lost and leaving.

The next day, when they're gathered at the gates of Erid Luin, she tries to hide her fear and her pain, and for the most part it works, but when Kili picks her up and spins her round promising to make her proud, she nearly breaks. Because she'll always be proud of her boys, no matter what and she tells him as much.

And as she watches her remaining family leave, Kili walking backwards so as to wave at her for longer, what's left of an already abused heart, breaks.

It is many months later, that she receives a raven telling her of the death of her sons and her brother. When she arrives at the thrice damned Lonely Mountain, Balin meets her, and she doesn't need to ask, the redness of his eyes and the disarray of his hair tell her everything. She throws herself into his arms and they're lost in their pain.

"I'm so sorry lass" Balin mutters into her hair, his tears soaking the thick dark locks of the dwarf woman's hair.

She can't speak, because that makes it real, and she's not ready to face that reality yet. Because all the time she doesn't voice it, they cannot truly leave her.

If ignorance is bliss, denial is truly Avalon.


End file.
